Oh my gosh Becky, look at her butt!
"Everything we judge in others is something within ourselves we don't want to face"
- anonymous -
Yesterday, on my morning walk with my dog Harley, we passed a very full figured pitbull. Harley paid her no attention but she and I, we definitely locked eyes and this is what was exchanged.
The first image is me.
(not my most shining moment)
This is what I received in return from her eyes haha
(she had no problem putting me in my place, throwing my judgement back on me)
Within that split second exchange, I checked myself and noted,
who the hell am I to judge.
I have no idea what her story is and by the look she gave me she seems perfectly content being herself.
Frankly whatever she is doing doesn't affect me unless I let it.
WE ALL DO IT!
As human beings we are judging machines;
judging almost every moment throughout the day.
Have you ever brought awareness to your judging?
It is frightening how quickly and how often we actually do it.
Even after we've done it, most of us do not take
responsibility for doing it.
Not always fun to admit where you could've been wrong.
And we all know how crappy it feels to be judged, ESPECIALLY by the people we love. They are the ones who tend to judge you the most because they feel they know you the best.
But what happens when the person you are judging doesn't allow it anymore? Where are you left then?
You are left all by yourself,
just swimming in your own judging misery.
Just like my situation this yesterday, there was no way she was going to let me influence her day with my opinion and good for her. As soon as that happened I had no where to go unless I wanted to bring other people in to make my point.
But what's the point in doing that? Just so I can confirm something?
Seems like wasted energy to me.
I will admit, I have been there where I wanted to hold steadfast to my judgements because I feel I am right (maybe I am, maybe I'm not), working so damn hard to prove why the other person is in the wrong.
Only when you are on the other side of judgement do you get a swift kick of reality and see the error of your ways. Because when you begin to unpack all that you were holding onto, you realize it doesn't hold up that well.
Judgements only hold up as long as someone believes in them otherwise they hold no weight.
And as much as you may not like it, life works in shades of gray. What ever you are judging maybe you've done or at least touched upon it in some form.
So I'd be careful of feeling so smug with yourself, that's usually the moment when you will eat your words the most.
I want to share this passage from The Well called
"On the Foolishness of Judging Others"
"The act of judgment is an act of pride. It involves looking to our own store of knowledge, putting together a few facts, figures or fancies, and coming up with some sort of answer or solution to a given problem or situation. All too often it is the wrong solution or answer, and because of pride, we refuse to correct course. Judging others is an act of monumental pride - enormous pride, stupendous pride, galling, astonishing, fantastic pride. This should be understood. When you render judgment on another, you have taken upon yourself an awesome responsibility for making the correct judgment. Because, after all, your judgment is not necessary. All things, big and small, invite your judgment. The condition of the weather, political matters, the taste of your food, a television program - at every moment of the day, something or other is inviting your judgment of it. And so often, and so willingly, you render it, without being aware of the consequences, without taking care of the responsibilities entailed. You judge, and then to make matters worse, you believe in your judgment. You've looked at the evidence, you've made a judgment - it must be right! There couldn't possibly be any other conclusion to arrive at but the one your've chosen, could there? What you don't see, don't understand, is that your judgment leads to suffering - your own suffering. It does not touch the person judged; he or she is free of you and your thoughts and your judgments. You cannot change their behaviour by even a hair's breadth by your judgment."
So how to we begin to harmonize our judgements with Jin Shin?
By holding our little fingers. The little finger represents the source of intuitive knowledge When the heart is open we trust in and are receptive to the inspiration of the universe.
By holding your little finger you remove the need to:
judge or be judged,
compare or compete,
to label or be labeled.
So next time you feel the need to judge or become aware that you are doing it, hold your little finger. Ask yourself what assumptions you are making, is it actually true and is it worth the judgement?
There are so many paths to take in life and that is the beauty of what makes us all different. Where it gets tricky is when we hold onto our judgements and beliefs without any examination or responsibility for our actions.
We all benefit when we grow our awareness and
open ourselves up to truly listen.